How To find A Hiccup

ACT III: War; part 2

Chapter 2

'Brothers divided'

Hiccup opened his crusty eyes. He didn't know where he was or what happened the previous day. In fact, he didn't even know if it was day time. Everything was black. He rolled over onto his back, grains of sand stuck on to the side of his face. This black wasn't what you got at night; there were no stars. Then it hit him, it was Toothless's wing. And, with the remembrance of Toothless, came the images of yesterday: Raden's and Dane's betrayal, his friends being taken off to Thor knows where, and Toothless giving Astrid over to the enemy.

Remembering Astrid almost made the tears fall again. But he blinked them back. Now was not the time for crying. He forced all thoughts of Astrid to the back of his mind. Thinking about her would do no good if they made him sit in a corner and sulk.

With a grunt, Hiccup pushed Toothless's wing off of him; he rolled to his right, getting away from the beast.

Toothless perked his head up at Hiccup. His eyes of his normal playfulness. But, the playfulness seemed to have sunken down into despair as if he remembered something lonely and solemn. Hiccup knew the dragon must have remembered the little incident that occurred a few hours ago.

Toothless brought his gaze down to the sandy beach.

"Listen, Hiccup-" Toothless tried, but Hiccup cut him off.

"Don't talk to me, Toothless," he spat. Toothless winced at the tone in his friend's voice. He brought his eyes to meet Hiccup's, but quickly averted them. The usual love and kindness and wonder that often took up the green orbs he called eyes had been replaced. Now they showed disappointment and betrayal. But, what hurt Toothless the most, was the hatred. It burned through Toothless like nothing else.

Silence followed. Hiccup began looking around the beach, thinking. There was a strange atmosphere around the two. It had never been like this, never. Not even when Scale threatened thousands of lives. The two had always been there for each other. But this, this was completely new to the friends. Why, up until now, Hiccup and Toothless saw themselves not as friends, but brothers. Well, it's clear that even brothers aren't always your best friends.

Hiccup shook his head side to side as he tried to come with something to say... but nothing came to him. The only thing he thought to do was to head back to the village. But, when he looked at Toothless, he felt something strange. Something he could never have thought he would feel toward the dragon. Anger. Not just the type that will subside over a few hours, but anger so strong that it teetered back and forth on the verge of hatred!

Hiccup's face scrunched in anger, replacing the sorrow. He walked over to Toothless's makeshift tail fin.

Before Toothless knew that Hiccup had left his place beside him, he heard clanging on his tail fin. He looked over his shoulder seeing Hiccup bang some gears into place with the palm of his hand.

"What are you doing?" Toothless asked. Hiccup grunted as he hit the last of the gears into place.

"I'm going back to the village and, unless you want to stay here, I'm adjusting your tail so you can fly... without me," Hiccup replied, standing up.

Toothless didn't understand.

"Why don't you just hop onto the saddle and we can fly back to the village?" Hiccup sighed.

"I'm not going anywhere with you, Toothless. Not after what you've done." Hiccup turned and walked away. The beach was surrounded by a cliff on the sides where it wasn't covered by water. Looking up the stone wall, Hiccup began to climb, leaving a dumbfounded Toothless behind, watching him.

"You can't be serious!" Toothless yelled to the man half way up the cliff.

"Good bye, Toothless. I have to figure out a way to find Astrid because YOU gave her to the enemy! Why don't you just leave me alone before you ruin something else!? Useless reptile!" Hiccup let the anger speak for him, but didn't try to justify. He grabbed some crabgrass at the top of the cliff and yanked himself to the top. Turning back to Toothless staring up at him, Hiccup yelled, "Why don't you make yourself useful and fly far away from here!" With that, Hiccup turned and left.

Despite himself, Toothless narrowed his eyes.

"Fine!" Toothless yelled. Giving his wings a powerful flap, the Nightfury shot into the air and out of sight. Flying away from Berk.

Hiccup stormed through Berk's forest. Swatting low hanging branches, dodging thorn bushes jutting out of the ground and cursing his luck all the while.

Hiccup craned his neck to look up at the trees. Somewhere beyond them sounded a Nightfury. Hiccup didn't realize how much anger he felt towards the dragon for giving Astrid up. But, when he didn't care that Toothless was leaving, he knew. He sighed and continued on his way back to the village.

Berk was, as usual, busy with vikings scurrying around doing... well, Hiccup didn't really know all that they usually did. He often spent his time trying to get away from them when he lived here.

Hiccup needed to figure out a plan. So far, the only thing he had was: he didn't have a dragon anymore, the riders were gone and they were the only ones who would help him, and, of course, Astrid was with them. That left him with Stoick, Gobber and Phlegma. Well, Hiccup thought. At least they can fight.

He could also get word out to the other members at Group Z, it seemed like only Raden had sided with Dane.

Dane. Hiccup did his best not to think about him, but he kept popping back into his head. Where had he gone wrong? What could he have done to make Dane hate him? Hiccup hoped that question would be answered; it kept gnawing at his insides, making him feel sick to the stomach.

Hiccup started through the village, ignoring angry stares and snarls given to him. He bumped shoulders with a few people, but kept his sights at the house on top of a hill.

He sighed before raising his fist and giving a solid knock on the door. A moment later, the door swung open.

"Hiccup?" Stoick asked. "You do realize this is still your home, you don't have to knock."

"What? Oh – right... anyway, we have a problem," Hiccup responded. Stoick's brow furrowed.

"Well, I could have told you that." Hiccup rolled his eyes.

"No, really, a HUGE problem! It just got bigger a couple hours ago, actually," Hiccup rubbed his forehead.

"What are you-" Hiccup groaned and shoved his way into the house.

"Just sit and I'll tell you everything," Hiccup said as he took a seat at the table. Hiccup put his head in his hands, only knowing Stoick sat down by the screeching of his chair against the wooden floor.

Hiccup told him of the events that had happened last night, sugarcoating it the best he could for his own sake.

Stoick sighed, staring at the table.

"I'm sorry... Hiccup. That must have been... uh... hard, fo – for you," The large man said, having to force the words out; being kind and offering words of encouragement wasn't his place of expertise. "Where's Toothless?"

A lump formed in Hiccup's throat. He hadn't told him about the dragon. Personally, he hoped Stoick would just overlook the fact that the beast wasn't with him. He cursed his awful luck again.

"That dragon will be able to help us," Stoick continued. Hiccup gulped and wiped a tear threatening to fall.

"T-Toothless will not be able to-to assist us... any longer," Hiccup choked out. Before Stoick could respond, Hiccup continued, "Listen, dad, you're better at this kind of stuff than I am."

"Wait wait wait!" Stoick said quickly. "What is going on with you? Where's-"

"Here's a map," Hiccup cut in, handing him a rolled up piece of paper. "The island Dane went to isn't his home island."

Stoick eyed Hiccup warily, but decided to just roll with him and not ask any more questions. Members of his tribe were kidnapped and Stoick was not about to let Dane get away with it! The men and women of Berk stick together!

"OK, fine, we'll do this your-" Stoick began.

"No, we'll do it your way," Hiccup interrupted. "I've messed up enough. I'll help in any way I can." Stoick looked at the map Hiccup was holding out to him. He accepted it and, in doing so, accepted the responsibilities that Hiccup was handing over to him.

"Hmm- Well, you know Dane best, so you'll be our greatest weapon," Stoick said, doing his best to put on his chief voice. But seeing Hiccup the way he looked was hard to just pass over. Stoick did it, however. "Where do we need to go?" Hiccup motioned towards the map and Stoick spread it out on the table.

Hiccup pointed to a small island about 5 hours from Berk. It was 5 hours by dragon, though, and 15 on boat. Dane would have been at the island long ago and would have set up some sort of defense with his dragons.

"What makes this island so special?" Stoick asked. Hiccup shrugged one shoulder.

"Dane's a smart kid," he said. "I know that he knows all of the islands in the archipelago and the ones around it," - Hiccup inhaled - "I would know because I taught him them myself. This island, as you may know, is unoccupied. It also has some great advantage points, but I doubt he knows about them. He just wants to get to some place far enough from Berk, but close enough to keep an eye on things."

Stoick leaned back into his chair and stroked his beard.

"How big is his army?" He finally asked.

"Big enough to sink Berk," Hiccup replied flatly.

"Then a full out attack is out of the question." Hiccup scratched his forehead.

"Not exactly." This caused Stoick to raise an eyebrow at him.

"I may, or may not, have hundreds of dragons... as well..." The way Hiccup said was almost comical. And, if not for the situation, Stoick might have laughed.

It was true, however. Hiccup had had Toothless training with a bunch of dragons to sever their ties from the Line. The dragons, however, were nowhere near Berk and would take weeks of nonstop flying at a Nightfury's top speed to reach them. Hiccup explained all this to see if Stoick had any bright ideas. But by the look on the chief's face, Hiccup guessed he didn't have much to offer.

The realization hit Hiccup again. He might never get to see Astrid again and Toothless was off doing who knows what. There were so many thoughts out of place in his mind. He felt off, as well; it was as if he wasn't really there, like this was just a horrible nightmare that he was forced to live in. He HAD to get his priorities straight. If he didn't, then his mind wouldn't be there for him; it was filled with images and phrases and ideas and thoughts and dreams and horrors. They were all crammed into his head, most were unwanted. He had to get a hold of them or else his brain would be confused.

That was his greatest weapon, his brain. He forced himself to focus. To focus on the things that mattered and to get rid of the ones that had no place in the present situation.

Astrid. She was the first one he need to get rid of. He couldn't allow her to affect him emotionally. Not now. Not when she was captured by the enemy. He had to forget her for her own sake. But it was hard. Too hard. He couldn't forget her no matter how hard he tried. To finally be reconnected with her, to only be ripped apart once more was just to much for his heart to handle. Another set of tears threatened to fall, but Hiccup couldn't cry right now. Not when Astrid was depending on him.

No matter what, Hiccup was going to get her back. He and Toothless w- T... Toothless. Oh Thor, Hiccup thought. He's really gone.

Hiccup had spoken out of anger and hurt and loss when he uttered those foul words towards his friend. And now, he was finally feeling the aftermath. "FINE!" That was what Toothless said. He accepted what Hiccup said. And so he left. He left because of what Hiccup had said and done to him.

The dragon had been Hiccup's best friend for over 5 years. The two had faced so much together. Pain and suffering were among those. But they stuck together through it all. They promised to watch each other's back at all times. To look out for the other no matter what happened. The beast wasn't just a friend or a pet, he was more... he was family. He was the other half of Hiccup. The one who was behind him no matter what. He was the one who would lay down and die for Hiccup if that was what needed to be done in order to save him. And Hiccup drove him away.

Then there was his adoptive son, Dane. What had he done to the poor kid? He and Hiccup had been close, or it seemed like it, ever since they met. Dane must have been a great actor or Hiccup must have been incredibly stupid not to see his betrayal coming. Dane helped him build his dragon empire. He was beside Hiccup the whole way. He soared above the other children in dragon training. Even with his poor eyesight, Dane was able to learn how to fight and was now an excellent swordsman. He could rival anyone in a fight.

Where love and joy used to show in his eyes was now replaced with hatred and a lust for power. He had somehow gotten Raden on his side, but by the look in his eyes, Hiccup knew Dane must have some kind of leverage on the poor soul.

Without Toothless, Hiccup was nothing. Without Astrid, Hiccup was nothing. Without Dane, Hiccup was nothing. He was just a hollow man with nothing but regret. The constant question, "What could I have done differently?" nagged him and tore at his insides. He wasn't aware of anything anymore. He was completely confused as to what the world around him was doing. He only knew what he had lost.

He was aware that Stoick was talking to him. He was aware that he had lost himself in his thoughts. He blinked a few times, the world around him coming back into focus. A blurred image came into view, it was the wall, the front door off to the side. Everything else slowly came back, too. First, it was his sense of touch; he felt the hard floor underneath him. He was no longer in his chair at the table, but was lying on his side, staring at the wall.

He also realized his knees; he was hugging them close to his chest in a fetal position.

The tears became apparent, as well. They ran down his cheeks at a rapid pace. If he was outside he might have thought it was raining. The tears were still coming, his eyes burned with every single one that escaped and dripped onto the hard floor of his father's house.

His hearing was the last thing to come to him. The first thing he heard were his powerful heaves and sobs. The drawing of breath ever so often when he ran out of oxygen. The voice of his father was the next thing to come to him. It was his usual gruff voice, but seemed to be trying to soothe him, but at the same time Hiccup got the sense Stoick wanted him to knock it off.

But he couldn't. He couldn't shake the feeling. It was a strange feeling. So much was packed into him that he couldn't tell all of the emotions that were leaking from him. There was a simple word that Hiccup knew summed most of it up. Sad. That's how he felt. He simply felt, sad. Nothing on earth could make him feel happy. Well, that wasn't true, but Hiccup wasn't reasonable enough to understand common sense.

He never stopped the tears, but he finally got up. He ignored Stoick when he shoved past him and started up the steps to his old room. He slammed the door behind him.

He needed to get these thoughts and feelings out of his mind and sort them. So, he did it the only way he knew how. Since he didn't have Toothless to comfort him like he used to, Hiccup grabbed an old, empty book off his desk. With a charcoal pen firmly in his hand, Hiccup wiped the tears out of his eyes, thankful they didn't haunt him again.

He put the pen to a blank page on the opened book and began to write. It was sloppy, at first, but soon his pen was making elegant strokes across the old paper. After a page was filled, Hiccup ripped it out and set it down on the desk beside. Over and over he did this, each page held something different. Finally, he put the pen down; placing the book and pen aside, Hiccup turned his attention to the papers he had wrote on.

Each were filled with everything that was on his mind. From things that hurt to remember, like Astrid and Toothless and Dane, to things that had absolutely nothing in common to the dilemma that faced him, like that nasty rash on his good foot.

He spread the paper out onto the floor and began to sort them. Soon, his floor was covered in paper. Each had a thought written out on it; with each paper Hiccup placed down, he arranged a thought in his mind. And soon, Hiccup was ready to face the enemy and get back all that was taken from him.