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| What I'm bringing to my contest! Shnuckles contest! | |
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| Topic Started: 23 May 2014, 15:33 (1206 Views) | |
| Shnuckles | 23 May 2014, 15:33 Post #1 |
Deadly Nadder
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Well, here's a better idea at what I'm bringing to the contest. I have a feeling it's going to be really long. Excuse any spelling or grammar errors, I haven't checked it yet  Reflect We're all forced to grow up. We're all forced to leave our playful little kid bodies and grow up into the mature adult everyone expects us to be. From a toy dragon to learning and studying and training the biggest and baddest of the scaly beasts. From a wooden ax, battling imaginary foes to being thrown into Hell, fighting off an uncountable amount of enemies as your brothers and sisters fall all around you. No one wants to grow up, but we all have to... eventually. And that is what happened to Berk's most famous, trouble making, teens. Hiccup is now the tallest and sporting a small scruff of a beard (that's all Astrid allows him to grow). He has since accepted the responsibilities that came with being chief and is now leading Berk. He has, in fact, brought Berk back from the fierce battle with Drago; the island is excelling beyond all others in the archipelago. The young chief sat along with his friends and his wife, Astrid. The ax swinging teen he once knew was no more. She's way more mellow and mature, but will still cut you into a hundred little pieces if provoked. She snuggled close to Hiccup, staring into the orange-red flames of the fire that burned brightly in front of them. The group of friends sat in a circle on top of logs they had their dragons drag; it was a beautiful night and the group of friends thought that they would spend some time together in the cove. The dragons in question lounged behind their rider. The dark sky above them was littered in hundreds of thousands of bright, twinkling start. But none could compare to the full moon which they surrounded. The business of Berk had gotten to the old group of friends, so they sat in silence, cherishing the rare moment of sanity and peace; the twins were content, for once, with the slowness and peacefulness around them. They saw no need to disrupt the moment. Hiccup took a deep inhale through the nose, relishing the smell of the kindled fire burning in front of him. While he liked the peace, he couldn't resist the urge to break the silence. He could be a bit of a chatter box at times. “So... how long has it been since we had a quiet moment like this?” The chief asked. Astrid fidgeted in his arms. “Not since Drago five years ago,” Fishlegs said. The burly viking stoked the fire with a long stick, cinders flew into the air, diving in and out of the gray smoke. Tuffnut yawned and said, “Things were so much easier when we were kids.” The viking rubbed his tired eye. Hiccup chuckled. “Speak for yourself,” he said. Tuff raised an eyebrow at him. Being his dense self, he waited for Hiccup to explain. The chief sighed, knowing Tuffnut wanted him to go into detail. Hiccup cleared his throat. “My life was pretty... huh... crappy. Before Toothless, anyway.” Tuff's eyes rolled back into his head in thought. Is face dropped slightly when he got the thought he was searching for. He hadn't been the nicest guy to Hiccup. He smiled once he got passed the small guilt trip. “Come on,” he said. “That's in the past, we're all friends now.” Tuff rested his elbows on his knees, leaning ever closer to the flames. His face came out of the shadows and became illuminated by the fire, a small shadow coming back to his face every once and a while when the fire flickered. “Yeah... yeah we are.” Hiccup chuckled. “And I couldn't ask for anything more.” Astrid re-positioned herself to feel more comfortable. “But, Tuffnut's right,” she said. “Life was way easier and simpler right after the battle with the Red Death.” Snotlout nodded in agreement. “Yeah. Even with Dagur and Alvin,” he said. The group fell back into a comfortable silence, their minds reflecting on the times when they were kids. It was Ruff who said what she was thinking. “Remember that time when Tuffnut got his head stuck in between the cell bars at the dungeon?” She asked, smiling as the thought came back to her. Snotlout smacked his knee and laughed, the sound of his merriment echoed through the night. “I remember that,” he said, pointing to Ruff. “That was a laugh.” The group smiled as they recounted the memory; it was fuzzy, at first, but it was hard to forget a blunder as big as that one. Even Tuffnut smiled at the memory. Flashback “I can't believe this,” said an agitated Ruffnut. “How did you even get your head in there in the first place?” The twins, Ruff and Tuff, were in Berk's dungeon. It was one of their duties to clean the empty cells. The siblings questioned why it was so important to clean a dungeon, weren't the bad guys suppose to suffer in these things? Stoick had told them it would begin to stink if it wasn't cleaned twice a week, but Ruff and Tuff knew the chief just wanted to keep them busy; they weren't as daft as everyone thought. Well, Ruffnut wasn't. Ruffnut and Tuffnut were in one of the cells. Stone bricks made up three of the walls, the iron bars made up the door and fourth wall. The stone bricks were stacked on top of each other, cement was placed in between the cracks to keep them in place. Moss accumulated on the bricks, some long strips ran down to the floor. The only light in the cell came from the hall's torch; flickering and crackling every once a while. “When you're determined, you can fit your head into any hole, crack, or crevice. The trick is not to give up,” Tuffnut replied, his head stuck between two of the metal bars. With a grunt, the male twin tried to pull his head back. He held his breath in his cheeks and went cross-eyed, putting everything he had into his arms, trying to get his head unstuck. Tuffnut's face began to get red. Ruffnut held a hand to her mouth, trying to contain her laughter, but failed just as Tuffnut let out the breath he was holding. Gasping for air, Tuffnut spoke. “Why don't you help me?” |
| draconicwyvern | 23 May 2014, 16:03 Post #2 |
kyt, 18, she/her.
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This is great so far! 
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| BerserkDragon | 23 May 2014, 16:45 Post #3 |
antisocial british nerd with a youtube channel
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Love the twins scene at the end  love all of it!
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Me? An otaku? Pfff. Yes I do like dragons if you're wondering. Doesn't seem like it from my profile pic n signature, I know, but I do. 
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| MudkipStar | 23 May 2014, 16:49 Post #4 |
im just kinda here well occasionally
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Good start to the story! Can't wait to see what happens with Tuffnut and the cell (how they get him out). ^.^ |
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hi im réka im developing a mildly unhealthy obsession with obiwan kenobi (more like obiwan kenoBAE am i right) my personal tumblr is ninja-stop im also writing a fantasy/humor novel called RESET which i won nanowrimo 2015 with i have a writing tumblr for it if you wanna check that out yeah thats it this probably isnt what should go in a signature but w/e i have 2 pet buns | |
| Nightshade | 23 May 2014, 17:53 Post #5 |
Monstrous Nightmare
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I can check spelling if you want to XD |
| Shnuckles | 23 May 2014, 18:16 Post #6 |
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Deadly Nadder
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Thanks, but no thanks. Since this is a contest, I don't think it's fair if I get help. But you can still check, "When We Were Younger" once I start it, if you want. |
| Shnuckles | 24 May 2014, 09:15 Post #7 |
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Deadly Nadder
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Do you guys think I put to much detail in the story, like, does it make it more boring to read? I really wanted to step up my game in describing the surroundings and what the characters feel. Am I trying to hard or is it just in my head? Your honest opinion would be very helpful; don't be afraid to sound a little mean, as long as it helps my writing I'll greatly appreciate it! |
| draconicwyvern | 24 May 2014, 10:49 Post #8 |
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kyt, 18, she/her.
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You're not trying too hard  I think it's perfect the way it is (mine's the one that's too wordy)I always find it hardest when writing a fic is the details. Every time I start to write I end up going too quick into the climax  |
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| MudkipStar | 24 May 2014, 12:31 Post #9 |
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im just kinda here well occasionally
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I do not think you are trying too hard |
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hi im réka im developing a mildly unhealthy obsession with obiwan kenobi (more like obiwan kenoBAE am i right) my personal tumblr is ninja-stop im also writing a fantasy/humor novel called RESET which i won nanowrimo 2015 with i have a writing tumblr for it if you wanna check that out yeah thats it this probably isnt what should go in a signature but w/e i have 2 pet buns | |
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