Berk's Forumvine

Like I said, I lost this story on my laptop, so I'm writing it again... I hope you enjoy it! Constructive criticism is welcomed!
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"Shadow, get up... We're going to learn how to fly today...'
I followed my brother, Death, into the main room of the Night Fury den.
"Boys, where are you going?' our mother, Blaze, asked.
"I'm teaching Shadow how to fly, Mum.'
"Well, ask your father first.'
"OK.'
Death walked to the entrance of the cave. I followed him. Our father, Darkwing, was sitting silently on the ledge.
"Dad, is it safe to teach Shadow how to fly today...?'
"Well, he's old enough now, but with the trappers around...' Darkwing shook his mighty head.
"Please Dad...' I begged, bounding up to Darkwing and nuzzling him.
"Shadow, that might work normally, but not today, my boy.' Darkwing gently pushed me away with his head. He obviously had a soft spot for the little hatchling.
"I can't lose you two... Who would lead the Night Furies after I'm gone? Drago will come back for me one day...' Darkwing replied, now speaking more to himself than to his sons.
"Darling, don't speak like that in front of the boys.' Blaze gently scolded her husband. 'He's not going to come back.'
How terribly wrong she was.
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DUN DUN DUN I want to know more!!

BerserkDragon

29 May 2014, 13:24

DUN DUN DUN I want to know more!!

I'll update later today.

Update:
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Eret and the other dragon-trappers were just about to head back to Drago, after an unsuccessful night. They hadn't caught anything.
Drago is probably going to be furious with me, thought Eret fearfully.
Suddenly, as he turned around, he heard something screeching across the night sky.
His eyes gleamed.
The thing that was screeching across the night sky was in fact Darkwing; he was doing some late-night hunting.

Shadow and Death were meant to have gone to bed hours ago, but they couldn't get to sleep, so they sat at the ledge, watching the stars.
"Boys! What are you doing up?!' thundered Darkwing in mock anger.
"We can't get to sleep, Dad,' Death replied. 'Why can't we stay up?'
"When you're the leader of the Night Furies, you can go to bed when you want. But little Night Furies go to bed when their father tells them to.' Darkwing chuckled.
Death crooned pleadingly.
"OK, tell you what. Shadow, you need your sleep, lad. You go to bed. If you still can't get to sleep, then watch the stars again. But don't go and sit on the ledge! Death, since you're my big Night Fury, you can stay up. But I want you in bed by the time I come back from hunting. Is that fair?'
The Night Fury brothers nodded.
"Good.' Darkwing turned to his wife.
"Blaze, I'll be back in a few hours.'
"Alright then, dear. Just be careful.'
"I will, girl. Don't worry so much.'
Then he flew off into the night.
Blaze sighed.
"Goodnight, Darkwing.' she said to the black speck in the distance.
As Shadow was just dropping off to sleep, he thought he heard a noise. A scream of terror from a dragon. It sounded familiar. He opened his eyes, and looked around.
"Dad?' he called fearfully.
But his father was not there to answer him.
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Oh my thor.

*feels*

Brilliant plot pacing. No con-crit today

cometotheberkside

29 May 2014, 14:30

Oh my thor.

*feels*

Brilliant plot pacing. No con-crit today

What parts do you like?

I like the overall fluidity of the story. The plot flowed, not many breaks and such.

cometotheberkside

29 May 2014, 14:47

I like the overall fluidity of the story. The plot flowed, not many breaks and such.

Thanks. I'm bored, so it seems like I'll be writing a lot today, fortunately.

Awwwwwwwww!! so cute but sad at the end!