Dragons, Trappers, Masters (HIATUS OVER! FINALLY!) |
Topic Started: 03 Aug 2014, 17:31 (5564 Views)
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Toothless123
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03 Aug 2014, 17:31
Post #1
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Night Fury
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Hey guys! I'm not discontinuing Fireproof or anything, but I posted my ideas for this story in the Ideas and Prompts thread, and I decided to develop it more! I typed this up on Wordpad last night, and I'll give you a 'sneak peek' of it, so I can hear your opinions on whether I should continue this or not! So here you go!
A Dragon Trapper's Destiny- Prologue
'Today...we're going to be stealing a dragon egg, lads.'
My men gasped.
'But, Horvutah, you'll get yourself killed!' my second-in-command protested.
I drew my sword and walked closer to him.
'If you're questioning my orders, then your questioning Drago's orders. Believe me, I don't want to do this anymore than you, lad. But I- we have to. And if we don't, it won't be just me who dies- all of us will. He'll see to that. Or, rather, his dragons will.'
I turned my back to my men, and took a deep breath, to calm myself. My hand was sweating as I held my sword. I put it back in my belt.
When I had calmed down, I turned to my men.
'Get the darts. I'll go ahead, and drive the mother out. When I give the signal, SHOOT!'
'Yes, sir.'
As I walked to the den, I was shaking. Drago was crazy- he was sending me into a deathtrap. Maybe that was his plan. Perhaps he was jealous of me, because I was better at trapping than he was- or I had a way with them.
No. I had to stop thinking about that. I only had to focus on one thing.
When I had got close enough to the den, I raised my sword, and yelled, worthy of one of Drago's.
Almost immediately, I saw a draconic head poke out of the cave. The dragon snarled viciously.
Are you trying to take my hatchling, human?
I said nothing, and continued to stand there.
The dragon had had enough.
With a huge roar, the beast charged at me. I stayed there, putting my hand out to it. It stopped just short of my hand, staring at it intently.
I raised my other hand slowly, so that the dragon wouldn't spook out.
I prepared to drop it, so the men knew it was the signal.
I did.
The dragon went crazy, roaring, and trying to shake the darts out of its scales.
But it couldn't.
Its eyes started to close, and it laid down onto the forest floor.
'Sir, I think the coast is clear.' my second-in-command told me. Just to make sure, he poked it with a nearby stick. It groaned slightly; it was still conscious.
He waited a bit more, and did it again. The dragon was silent.
The men started to move towards the beast.
'Stay back, just in case... ' I warned.
Careful not to disturb the dragon, I walked quietly back to the den, walked inside, and took the egg.
'Looks like I'm not the one meeting a horrible fate at the hands- or rather, hand, of Drago today.' I whispered menacingly to the egg. I could have sworn I heard it whimper. It attempted to escape, bashing at the eggshell with its beak- which confirmed it to be a Stormcutter.
'Can't wait to get out, can you? I'm guessing you can't wait to meet him. Well, if you want my advice, stay in that egg for as long as possible. Because, believe me, you really don't want to meet my boss.'
I stuffed the egg into the pocket of my furs, and ran out of the cave.
This was a huge mistake, for two reasons.
One: I'd been taught in the first days of becoming a dragon trapper, to never, ever, make any sudden moves, especially not running, when in a dragon's presence, whether it's conscious or not. The reason for this? Dragons' ears are very sensitive, and they can still pick up even the slightest of sounds, even in sleep. So someone walking, or running towards them, sounds like a Bewilderbeast roar to them. And, by 'taught', I mean, being forced into approaching "asleep" dragons by Drago, and getting bites, and cuts, and gods knows what else from them, because he hadn't told me that they could hear me. His excuse for this was, "learning on the job". I still have the scars.
Two: Stealing their egg is another thing that can override dragons' unconsciousness. They sort of have a sixth sense for knowing when their egg is being stolen.
So, naturally, the mother Stormcutter's eyes snapped open, her anger overriding the darts' efforts to make them close again. That's all I've done so far of the prologue! Please tell me what you thought, and if I should continue.
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draconicwyvern
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04 Aug 2014, 00:23
Post #2
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kyt, 18, she/her.
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I think you should definitely continue, except finish Fireproof first; it seems like it's drawing to a close anyways, and also do keep in mind that this may distract you from completing your main fanfic. But so far, it's pretty intriguing.
Slight typos include it's and its confusion, and one accidental concious , instead of conscious. (If you can't find them, try CTRL + F ) Also I was wondering, if you would consider my suggestion, to have an empty line after each paragraph? (Enter) But it's up to you, of course
Great start, waiting for more.
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The Norse Nerd
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04 Aug 2014, 00:48
Post #3
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-This is Borghild-
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More plz
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I don't ship Hiccstrid, deal with it (◡‿◡✿)
~Slytherin~
-Cancer Sun-
-Aries Moon-
-Virgo Ascendant-
Borghild Dragon Riders
Youtube Channel
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Toothless123
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04 Aug 2014, 02:49
Post #4
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Night Fury
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- cometotheberkside
- 04 Aug 2014, 04:23
I think you should definitely continue, except finish Fireproof first; it seems like it's drawing to a close anyways, and also do keep in mind that this may distract you from completing your main fanfic. But so far, it's pretty intriguing.
Slight typos include it's and its confusion, and one accidental concious , instead of conscious. (If you can't find them, try CTRL + F ) Also I was wondering, if you would consider my suggestion, to have an empty line after each paragraph? (Enter) But it's up to you, of course
Great start, waiting for more.
Thanks for the help with typos.
- The Norse Nerd
- 04 Aug 2014, 04:48
More plz
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Toothless123
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05 Aug 2014, 14:00
Post #5
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Night Fury
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Just posting my continuation of the prologue, as I wrote some more on Wordpad! Fireproof will be updated soon though!
Continuation of Prologue Knowing I did not have much time left alive, I took the Stormcutter egg out of my pocket, and threw it to my second in command.
'Take that egg, and guard it with your life. If you don't, Drago will ensure that you won't have one.'
'Yes, sir. But what about you?!'
'You won't be seeing me again. Now, RUN! Go back to the ship! And that's an order!'
'No, sir! We're not leaving you! Are we?!'
Some of the others looked uncertain.
'I'm proud of you, lad. Showing such loyalty to me...But Drago won't be happy- and that's an understatement- if all of you are killed, when there's only need for just me to die.'
'Sir, the others may want to go, like the cowards they are, but I'm staying right here with you!'
'NO! GO! Only the gods can save me now...'
'Well, sir, if that's an order-'
'It is!'
'-then who am I to disobey you?'
'You would be very stupid, lad. And more importantly, dead.'
'Goodbye, sir.'
'Goodbye, lad. You be a good leader to the others, now, do you hear me?'
'Yes.'
'And don't kill the mother Stormcutter for this. She was just protecting her egg...right?' I asked the Stormcutter, who was walking towards me with terrifying slowness. She knew that I was trapped now. She was taking her time, enjoying my terror.
Finally, my second-in-command took one last look at me, and left.
'Don't look behind you.' I called to him.
I was answered by muffled sobbing.
'So, who's going to make the first move, Stormcutter?'
I drew my sword, and, as fast as a Night Fury, I stabbed her, enough to kill her slowly. She growled, and walked faster.
Claws ripped into my neck. Although I had stabbed her in a fatal spot, she would die slowly. But I would die first.
I managed to stumble downwards onto the grass, as I was too weak to stand up.
She was nearly upon me now. I closed my eyes, waiting for the blast of fire that would end my pain.
Suddenly, I heard the familiar sound of cruel metal jaws closing onto a scaly leg.
I didn't need to open my eyes; I knew instinctively what had happened.
The Stormcutter shrieked in surprise, pain, and fury, and fell to the ground.
Good lad. I thought.
Then the darkness took me. The Second-in-Command's POV
'Keep running! Don't look back!' I said, more to myself than the others.
Although my thoughts told me not to, I couldn't resist. I turned around, and saw a terrible sight.
Horvutah's body, his dragonskin cape (a sign of his authority) nearby, the red of the blood splattered onto it making the Monstrous Nightmare's scarlet scales stand out more than ever.
A noise made me turn around.
An animalistic growl, one of disapproval.
Drago grabbed me by the collar.
'Explain.' he hissed.
'Erm, well, you see, sir...' I stammered, choking slightly.
'...I'm afraid he's...dead, sir.'
'You should be afraid.'
'Oh...I-I brought you this Stormcutter egg, sir...'
'Do you really think,' he began, with dangerous softness, 'that a Stormcutter egg replaces ONE OF MY MEN?!'
'N-no sir...But bringing dragons to you is part of my job...'
'I know that. I am not stupid. Were you suggesting I was?'
'O-of course not...'
'Good. Give the egg to me.'
I hastily took it out of my pocket. His scowl deepened.
'You stupid, stupid boy...' he growled, snatching the egg from me and placing it on the ground.
'Why am I stupid, sir?'
'Did I not teach you that you should never put dragon eggs in your pocket?'
'No, sir...why?'
'Stand back.' he ordered.
'Why, sir?'
'STAND BACK!' he screamed.
'Yes, sir.'
Almost immediately, the Stormcutter started bashing at the egg with its beak, causing cracks to appear.
I looked at Drago's expression, and I regretted it.
He was smiling in a terrible leer of almost fatherly pride.
Suddenly, the egg exploded, sending flaming fragments around the forest. One landed on Drago's cape, and he brushed it off casually, as if having a flaming piece of egg on his shoulder was no big deal.
Other pieces landed near trees. Soon, the entire forest was ablaze. Drago just stood there, seemingly enjoying the destruction.
'Reminds me of what I did to the Chieftains...' he said happily.
'And what the dragons did to my village.' His voice turned bitter with terrifying abruptness.
'And what you, little Stormcutter, are going to do for me.'
He held the baby dragon, stroking him, his eyes gleaming.
It growled slightly, and bit his finger. Drago yelled in pain.
'A fighter, are you?' he snarled, between gritted teeth. 'We will find a use for that.'
Then he threw it off his finger, and it landed next to its mother.
The dying mother Stormcutter lifted her head as much as she could, and licked her baby. Drago grabbed hold of the little dragon, and laughed at the mother's attempts to get him back.
'You will not be seeing it again. That is your punishment for killing my best dragon trapper.'
He kicked her absent-mindedly as he passed her. She howled.
'In pain, are you?' he smiled. 'Do you want me to end it?'
He glanced at the hooked end of his staff, and shook his head.
'No. You will die a slow death, thinking of how I have snatched your baby.'
He chuckled menacingly at the baby Stormcutter.
'She is not your mother anymore. I am your new master. And your new father is my Bewilderbeast.'
The dragon whimpered at the mention of his new father, and king's, name.
'HAVE A NICE DEATH!' he called to the mother Stormcutter.
No answer came; not even a growl.
I walked over to her.
She was dead.
The men helped carry the body back at my instructions. Perhaps Drago could make her into a cape, and use her head as a decoration, I thought.
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draconicwyvern
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05 Aug 2014, 20:05
Post #6
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kyt, 18, she/her.
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Great work!
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Toothless123
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06 Aug 2014, 17:29
Post #7
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Night Fury
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I have a compromise to suggest; every time I post a new chapter of this story, I'll post a new chapter of Fireproof too! Do you like that idea?
Anyway, here's Chapter One, as, once again, I wrote more on Wordpad!
Chapter One The Baby Stormcutter's POV
I was roughly stuffed into a dark place. Dark places are usually comforting- they remind me of my of my mother's den. But this dark place smelt wrong; of dragons. Dead dragons. I thought sadly of my mother. Although I could not see, I decided to find out what this dark place was. I rubbed my head against it. It felt scaly. Perhaps I was inside a dragon's skin? My mother's skin? But no. I remembered. The human who had taken me had worn something that smelt like this. He had called it a 'cape'.
Then I realised.
How dare he! This human, slaughtering a noble beast of my species! That was bad enough. And then he actually dared to wear this beast's hide, as a trophy of his victory! It seemed that many other dragons were a trophy of his victory too. His victory over them. They were still alive, too. This is the worst thing you can do to a dragon. To kill one is at least putting it out of further misery, but letting it live, to serve a human, when it would rather be dead than suffer, that is typical of humans.
Suddenly, I heard a snuffling sound, and I felt breath. A dragon was sniffing me out, trying to eat me. Then I heard the sound of sharp metal slicing into scales, and the dragon fell back with a thump and a shriek. I could hear it whimpering some distance away.
I noticed the human had stopped walking.
It screamed, 'HURRY UP!' at the dragon, and I heard the whack of metal against scales.
The human continued walking, the dragon following behind him.
Eventually, I could smell salt, and waves, and tasty seabirds. This reminded me of the place where my mother had gone hunting sometimes to catch fish. There were dragons living in the depths. Scauldrons, Seashockers, Thunderdrums, and...my mother had once told me of a dragon so huge that it dwarfed the others of its species living here. There were only a few left in existence. My mother had called it 'The King of the Ocean'.
And, incredibly, if I smelled hard enough, I could detect the scent of it. But it was yet another thing that smelt wrong. It smelt of rage and anger, which was strange; my mother had told me that these dragons were calm, good kings. This dragon did not smell calm, or good. It was almost as if it had once been calm and good, but something had made it like this. And, buried deep beneath that rage and anger, almost as deep as the sea floor itself, was sadness. Deep, unbearable, pathetic sadness. Misery. This smell reminded me of another thing. When the dragon had tried to sniff me, and laid on the ground, whimpering, it had smelt like that.
So, that meant, that 'The King of the Ocean' belonged to the human.
And now, so did I.
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draconicwyvern
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06 Aug 2014, 19:14
Post #8
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kyt, 18, she/her.
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I like the idea!
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Toothless123
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07 Aug 2014, 03:54
Post #9
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Night Fury
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Toothless123
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07 Aug 2014, 12:31
Post #10
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Night Fury
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Chapter Two The Baby Stormcutter's POV
The human took me out of his cape, and placed me on the ground. Then he raised his metal stick in the air, and swung it around his head, screaming at levels that were painful to my sensitive ears.
The King of the Ocean emerged out of the water, and walked onto the land. Upon seeing the fire, it inhaled, and put it out with a blast of its ice breath. This was one of its powers- it could breathe ice, a power unlike any other dragon's. There was another power it had, but I couldn't remember what it was.
And I was about to find out.
The King turned his mighty head around, and saw me. His eyes lit up with cruel delight.
A HATCHLING. SECURE IT.
Immediately, the dragon which had tried to sniff me went over to me. I noticed that it had five, long, red, bleeding gashes on its face.
Where did you get those?
Silence.
I was intelligent, like most dragons, so I realised that he had received them when his master had ripped into his scales.
He put a clawed paw over me, to act as a cage. I fitted more than well enough.
With one of those claws, he grabbed my chin and pushed my face up to the King's eyes.
I tried to get away, for the claws were piercing my chin slightly, but he was strong.
Do not move, little dragon. You will only make it worse for yourself if you try to resist him.
Resist him?
Resist his power.
He directed his thoughts to the King.
Is he prepared, Alpha?
Yes.
The dragon bowed.
Suddenly, a horrible sound entered my head. It sounded like...a song! I must forget about my mother. The Alpha is my father and King now. My eyesight turned red and cloudy. I had an urge that I had never had before.
To destroy, to kill, to tear apart anything that my Master commanded me to.
I had become a monster. A mere puppet, to carry out my Master's deeds.
And I liked it.
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