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Topic Started: 22 Sep 2014, 03:03 (905 Views) | |
WasBornCrazy | 22 Sep 2014, 03:03 Post #1 |
i dont think my avatar is working but ehh
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Ok, so, my friend bet me that I can't write for my life. I can't, but I'm still trying to prove her wrong. Can someone pleeaaase tell me if this is good enough to shove into my friend's face. (It's only what I'd like to call, a 'teaser')
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i'm not very active anymore!! it's sad, but i'll come back sometimes to feel nostalgic ahaha | |
hcsp1 | 22 Sep 2014, 04:16 Post #2 |
My only master is the free wind
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Not bad at all. Although, some improvments if I may suggest: 1) Use of words. You wrote "The night was one of the worst nights", maybe "That night was one of the worst nights" or "Tonight was one of the worst nights". Just helps the story to flow better. 2) It is mentioned that after the dragon kidnapped Hiccup, Stoick never smiled and Valka was no longer against killing dragons and even killed her share. Now, we, as fans that know the characters understand this change; but let's assume someone who never heard of HTTYD reads this, he will have no idea why this is so important for him to know because he doesn't know who these people were before Hiccup was taken away from there. Point being? Flesh out the characters more before throwing them into conflict(Though, you did say this was a teaser so maybe you planned this in the full thing). 3) Hiccup is mentioned to be 7 years old. Wouldn't it be a good idea to tell us what he thinks while this was happening? I mean, did he try to run away? Defend himself? Something? Again, a bit more fleshing out. Other than these tips, there is one very important thing you should know if you plan to ever write. Practice and reading other works is all you need to get good at this. I myself started writing fan fictions a year and a few months ago, and as I started to write more and more I felt like I got better at it. My biggest tip, take every criticism you get as a word of advice and if you ever read something that you really liked, try and replcate what you liked about it in your own stuff(And by that I mean, style of writing and story telling. Not actual plot elements). Good luck! |
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